GETTING THINGS DONE

As adults we do lots of things every day to make sure that we are in good shape and that we manage our day-to-day lives. We brush our teeth, we wash clothes, care for kids, pay bills and goto work. The list is enormous, made up of things that we do, whether we want to or not.

Beginning at about six years old, kids are primed for the basic training in these types of activities. They are learning how to repeat simple, mundane things every day - rain, hail, or shine - whether they want to or not. They learn as we get them to brush their teeth, make the bed, feed the dog,go to school, and help set the table.

Also, they are learning the basics of how to do long-term tasks, of linking the simple steps of today with the bigger results of tomorrow. Many performance-related character traits develop through this period, too - reliability, persistence and dedication, or their opposites.

The way we help them to learn these things is by modelling. We provide the modelling in the way we get them to complete their daily routines. If we do not follow through, then generally they will not. When we do follow through, whatever hassles we may encounter, then generally they will. The reasons or excuses we give ourselves to act or not to act, will generally be adopted by them, too.

This learning is about persistence through time. It takes years for them to complete the learning and, if we are to succeed in helping them do it, then we need to persist for years, too. And in the end, all the hassles are worth it as we swell with pride at the appearance of self-starting, forward thinking, effective and cooperative young people in our midst.

Ken & Elizabeth Mellor are internationally known counsellors, meditation teachers and parent educators. Both are trained social workers. Also, Elizabeth is a trained rehabilitation counsellor and Ken is a trained psychotherapist and trainer of psychotherapists. They offer a variety of courses and workshops on parenting, child rearing and other subjects in Melbourne and interstate. Telephone 03 5799 1198 for information.